image provided by Aleksandra Wantuch

We cannot hide behind the keyboard and the screen; we are still in plain sight – our style, our savvy, and our smile are right there with us. Our communication skills are definitely showing. It’s a virtual presence, surely, yet it still reveals a lot about us. The remote is not really so remote when we take a look at its intimate truths. Here are some of the truths that are revealed between the keys – about how we use time, how we listen, and how much, in general, we care.

How we use time

There is a nonverbal communication theoretical term called “chronemics” which is basically the study of how we use time and what that reveals about us. Our behavior at meetings, for example, has always been an indicator of how a person, an organization, even a culture – uses time. These habits are most often not written down. Attendees figure it out. They can be late…or not. They can leave early…or not. Their slides can be complete…or not. The same thing occurs in virtual meetings. Bad habits can easily develop, especially when there are so many meetings in a day. But we can avoid getting trapped in bad habits if we think through a few positive steps. For example:

• Be aware of when we arrive and leave a meeting. The leader and other participants will often notice and if we arrive late and leave early consistently, we are sending a message that
• something else is more important.
• Plan our own presentations in advance so participants are watching a smooth, put-together report that doesn’t meander or waste their time with “and- uhm’s” and “you know’s.”
• Plan ahead for the questions we’ll probably get so we look smart and savvy and avoid saying “Good question,” after everything – a habit that’s all too common.
• Prepare by having conversations with key players one on one ahead of the meeting. Make sure someone is in charge of the agenda and how to prioritize it.
• Take no more time than we say we will. Very rarely do meeting attendees want our report to go longer.
• Do not overly refer to time. “I will go through this quickly,” or “I’m about done. I know you all have a lot more to cover,” actually devalues our presentation.

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Everyone gathers for a purpose.

Everyone wants to look good.

Everyone is reluctant to bring up something.

Some do not want to be there.

Most are committed to the way it’s always done.

Few try something new.

The senior person talks the most.

The latest recruit is wide-eyed.

Some endure the gathering.

Most cherish the gathering.
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