Afterthoughts on the “After Dinner” Speech

Those of you who give after-dinner presentations frequently will not need to read this article.  Those of you who want to extend your speaking horizons–read on!  First, let me position myself as an NSA member who is primarily a seminar leader.  When I am booked for a keynote or short program,  I typically speak at breakfasts, luncheons, and concurrent sessions.

Recently, however,  I had an opportunity to present my first after-dinner speech.  It was during this experience that my respect and admiration for the after-dinner speaker skyrocketed.  Here are some of my “AHA’s,” anchored with the wise comments of experienced NSA after-dinner speakers.

Get specific information about previous programs.

I arrived very early to set up and had some time to help the program committee place give-away’s at attendees’ seats.  I struck up a conversation with one of the committee members about the event.  She recalled that last year’s speaker was a Chicago Bear “who didn’t talk about service at all” but who was “really cute” and that the program the year before was “a Jeopardy game thing that everyone loved!”  Mental red flags began to wave; I knew I had made a deadly mistake by not asking more about previous programs.

Define terms such as inspire, entertain, motivate, and interact.

As a seminar leader, my task is most often to educate with lots of interaction.  I’m accustomed to doing needs analyses that range from a few phone calls to extensive surveying.  An after-dinner speaker’s pre-program planning is equally important;  it just involves some different questions.  Again, I wish I had asked more of them.

My client told me that she hired me, “… because you’re so interactive.  We know you can get them involved!” She asked me to get the audience talking to each other.   Obediently, I structured my talk and designed my handout to include four interaction points where partners would have brief exchanges. Little did I know that once I opened my talk to partner discussions,  I would fight to get it back.

I realized this during the first partner exchange – to share hometowns and a hometown memory – when there was an uproarious din peppered by raucous laughter.  It took every ounce of  friendly assertiveness I could muster to get the group’s attention again.  Quickly,  I decided to skip one of my planned interactions and shorten the other two.

To speak after dinner is to entertain.  Each of the experienced after- dinner speakers contributing to this article agreed that humor is important.  Their advice ranged from “Use half or even more humor – be less ‘teachy’,” from speaker Greg Risberg to Christine Corelli’s frank advice, “Be sure to use humor or you’re dead!”   CSP CPAE Dale Irvin suggests an increase in energy level because “…these people have just eaten and are a wee bit slower.”

Determine the tone of the meeting and the audience.

CSP CPAE Frank Bucaro asks specific questions about the entire day, such as, “How intense was the day?  What were the topics covered?  What took place before the occasion? Will there be awards before or afterwards?” Dale Irvin asks, “What’s for dinner?” and seriously, “What thought do you want your people to walk out of the room with?”

I knew I had misread the tone of the occasion when the response to the humor in my opening remarks came at a totally different place than I expected.  Typically, I begin my talk with three examples of having “one of those days,“ and then I list examples that move from funny daily annoyances to weightier topics like unexpected health test results or even divorce.  To my surprise, the audience was sober-faced during my lighter stories, choosing to laugh uproariously at my divorce example.

I hadn’t planned for the tone that my examples might take at this time of day or for this audience.  I wish I had asked how much fun and frivolity was involved beforehand, if there was a cash bar or an open bar, and how long people would have been “networking” before I spoke.   Speaker Rita Emmett doesn’t skirt the issue; she asks if they are serious drinkers and if the bar will be open during her talk.  She even gets agreement to  shorten her talk on the spot if appropriate.  Accordingly, Dale Irvin warns that the likelihood of a heckler is much greater in an after-dinner speech.  Frank Bucaro advises  to “…be prepared to speak for less time than they said they could give you.”

Rethink your handout.

When I discussed handouts with my client, she agreed that one would be fine and brief pen or pencil responses would be great!   I didn’t even think to doubt her advice or to ask more questions.  I should have.  That evening, as she introduced me, I observed my two-page back to back handout being used as a fan– a very folded-up fan–by several attendees. At that moment it struck me that this was not going to be a handout crowd!

For after-dinner, Frank Bucaro  suggests a one-page handout with key points and contact information.  Rita Emmett sends handouts in advance with a note that reads, “These are handouts I think your group would like.  Please don’t distribute them ahead of time.”  Her after-dinner handouts are short, perhaps even a poem, and available on the way out.

Coach your introducer.

I had faxed my introduction and also brought it along,  double spaced in 14 point font, to give to my introducer when I arrived.  However, just before she began, she nervously dropped it, failed to quiet down the loud crowd, and read it in a rote monotone.   Though written humorously to position me as a person with a sense of humor (an NSA tip),  no one heard it but me and perhaps three
other people in front.  I should have alerted her to the importance of the tone of my introduction.

In addition, speaker and musical talent Christine Corelli suggests asking the client to give the audience a 10-minute warning before the program so they can use the facilities.  At this time she advises her client to say something like, “We have a really dynamic speaker for you this evening that I’m sure you won’t want to miss…etc.” Both Christine and Rita have learned to ask their introducer to notify them five minutes before the introduction so they can return smoothly to their seat from networking in the hall or the back of the room.

Have a pro check the mike and have a back-up.
During my earlier set-up, the mike wasn’t working well, and the facility didn’t have anyone on evening staff to check it out.  A manager did appear and fiddled with it, but I had my doubts.  I was kicking myself for having forgotten my own lavaliere.  An experienced after-dinner speaker would know how essential this is, especially with an evening crowd.

Be prepared for laughter or silence.

As I said, the typical laughs changed.  I faced both silence as well as some longer laughs than I normally got in a daytime presentation.  I actually had to pause at length a few times.  When I mentioned this to humorist Rita Emmett, she said that she is always ready to make these two last minute adjustments: either add more humor to the talk or cut it short.

Be prepared to take control!

People are relaxed after dinner and chit chat continues easily while you’re speaking.  What should you do?  In seminars, I could walk over to the table, make some comment that would engage a few stray listeners, and go on, having achieved crowd control.  However, in my after-dinner talk,  I felt like a prisoner on the stage, working with a weak mike system, and unable to get out to the crowd.   I resorted to whatever humor I could muster as well as calling out once, “OK, everybody!”.    To prevent stage entrapment, Christine Corelli arrives early to make sure that tables are no more than four feet from the platforms.  Dale Irvin, who dislikes working from a head table, asks clients to provide a separate platform.

Don’t forget to mention your product!

Finally, I finished.  I was somewhat surprised that people applauded.  As planned, my client and I raffled three of my books after my speech.  Then after some awards,  I moved to my table in the back where my books were displayed.  As I stood in back,  I realized that I had forgotten to mention that I would be there, and to make matters worse, my client had also forgotten to hold up the book during the introduction and say it was available, as I had asked.  Thankfully,  some people did stop, and I discovered that they actually enjoyed my talk; one person even bought four books for her staff. But sales were certainly
not swift.

Time has passed, and I’ve lived to speak again.  I look forward to speaking after dinner again so  I can ask a lot more questions.  Oh, by the way, in our follow up correspondence, my client thanked me for a “wonderful talk.”  She added that she discovered later that the mike wasn’t working well, and people in the back couldn’t hear.  Well, the talk sure wasn’t wonderful in my eyes, but the lessons learned will last forever.

Here is my new checklist:

Pre-planning

  • Get specific information about previous programs.
  • Define terms such as inspire, entertain, motivate, interact.
  • Determine the tone of the meeting and the audience.
  • Re-think your handout.

At the event

  • Coach your introducer.
  • Have a pro check the mikes and have a back-up.

When you’re “on”

  • Be prepared for unexpected laughter or silence.
  • Be prepared to keep control.
  • Don’t forget to mention your product.