How to Avoid Meeting Muck

Why is it that the most pleasant person in everyday life turns into the most difficult at the monthly meeting? What is it about the Board table that converts team players into silent observers or arrogant warmongers? How do you accurately describe the negative effects of the two-hour conference call—pandemonium—boredom? These scenarios typify a common, pervasive problem in business and professional life today—meeting muck. Meeting muck is the oozy, slimy, muddy, cloudy, insidious gook that invades even the best-intended meetings and conference calls. It dirties the cleanest of agendas; it drains the most energetic of work relationships—and sadly, slows potential productivity. Meeting muck is exasperating because, like mud after a heavy rain, it seems to return again and again, no matter how hard you try to eliminate it.

We like to talk about meetings as team efforts, but in the final analysis, a great meeting is the product of really great individual efforts—mixed with a strong dose of willpower and discipline. The late Chicago Bears running back Walter Payton said, “You can’t change the team until you change yourself.” He spoke of football, but it works for meetings, too. To change yourself, first be aware of the most common behaviors that slow down productive communication. Second, recognize when you are the one demonstrating those behaviors. Third, change your style and practice positive, helpful behaviors even in the face of others’ inability to do so. This is often difficult. Others on the conference call or around the board table can unknowingly lead you to immature and ineffective comments. Be careful. Take deep breaths. Keep your contributions healthy. When you sense muck oozing up, carry your own mop. Don’t wait for someone else to do the dirty work.
Ten Common Causes of Meeting Muck and What to Do About Them
1.    Agreeing with Everything. This sounds like a misnomer but it gets in the way of progress. You’re probably trying to save face or politick in some way if you’re doing this. Mop-up Tip: Play Devil’s Advocate. Say you’d like to stir up more discussion by presenting the opposite point of view. Example: “We have good reason to be happy with recent conference attendance; just for fun, though, let’s consider what we’d do if next year’s economy goes flat and discretionary income changes? I think we should be prepared.”

2.    Dominating Discussion. If you’re doing this, you’re trying too hard. Listen to yourself; if you hear your own voice longer than a few minutes at a time, you’re not in a dialogue—you’re in a monologue. Mop-up Tip: Look at the faces around you and watch for signs of unrest—fidgeting, eye rolling, side glances, over-use of handouts, etc. When you see these, know that people are fidgety and ready for their turn. If you’re on a conference call, make a concerted effort to time yourself for two to three-minute contributions only. Watch your watch. Example: “Here are my three main points about selecting a new vendor for the upgrade. I’m sure many of you have others, and I’d appreciate your consideration of these.”

3.    Side Chatting. This is just poor manners. Sadly, it is practiced more frequently than ever. As technology influences our listening ability, we become easily distracted. Too many people think it’s OK to sidetrack during business. It just looks and sounds bad, and it’s annoying to all. Mop-up Tip: When you have an urge to chat, jot a note in the margin of your handout to remind yourself to do so later. When others try to start side conversations with you, gesture for them to write something down or mouth the word, “Later.” Example: (Make a written note to yourself for later, such as— “Ask Jolene why George isn’t here today.”

4.    Complaining. A meeting is not a venting session unless it is specifically designated as one. The tendency to complain without suggesting or proposing a solution that can be discussed openly is frustrating for all. Mop-up Tip: Don’t complain without contributing a solution idea. Example: “My department really got confused during that last IT training session; could we possibly allow more time for the next one?”

5.    Digging Up Dirty Laundry. All solutions lie in the present and the future. Dwelling on old mistakes will only muck up the clarity of new ideas. Mop-up Tip: Resist any urge to relive the past. If you must, mention it briefly with an extremely relevant correlation to the present or future—tied directly to problem solving. Example: “Three years ago we made that mistake; we focused on our brochure rather than our member needs. What we learned is to design a brochure that’s crisp but very clear about the benefits. We want to make money, not lose it.”

6.    Allowing Too Many Chiefs. This happens especially to the kindest, gentlest meeting leaders. In the spirit of participation, too many people are allowed to talk too often with too much power. Mop-up Tip: You don’t have to be the leader to help clean up. You can say, “Joe is in charge today. I feel we should let him decide the next step.” And if you are the leader you can make a mental note when discussion is getting out of hand. You then need to make a clear statement of control. Example: “It’s clear there are many strong opinions here. In the interest of time, I’d like to suggest we go with the original plan and fine-tune at a later date.”

7.    Displaying Anger. The best meetings have conflict. The best meetings also negotiate through it all of the time. There is a difference between conflict and expressive, hurtful anger that clogs up progress. Mop-up tip: When you feel angry or frustrated, take a deep breath and make an I-Statement as calmly as possible. Example, “When I hear this Board talk about budget at every decision point, I get frustrated because I feel we should balance other things with it—like employee satisfaction and lessons learned when we take shortcuts. Is it possible that we can put budget aside for a few minutes to get at other issues?”

8.    Making assumptions. This happens at meetings when nobody paraphrases or checks in. Especially on conference calls, this problem pervades. Mop-up tip: Use paraphrasing and questioning frequently. Example, “What I hear you saying is you’re bored with this approach. Am I correct?”

9.    Interrupting. This is one of the simplest muck-ups, yet one of the hardest to cure. It’s just a bad habit. Mop-up Tip: Ask a colleague to say your name out loud each time you interrupt someone at the next meeting. (Make sure others at the meeting know that you’re working on this.) Have patience and remember that your speed of thinking and listening may be different from others’ and you’ll never get the main point if you interrupt. You’ll only be seen as rude.

10.     Prejudging. This will be evident at a meeting where an idea is brought forward and members pounce on it. Every idea deserves to be aired; often the best plans result from what appear at first to be misdirected ideas. Leaders especially need to be aware of pre-judging and allowing all opinions to be heard—realistically, of course, within the time frame. Mop-up Tip: When you catch yourself jumping too quickly down the throat of another’s idea, stop and ask an open question instead. Example, “That’s interesting, Sally. How do you figure that baby ducks will be a trendy theme for the 2006 sales effort?”

11. Bonus Tip: Living in the Past. This tendency creeps into a meeting that is overrun with old timers—old timers of any age who have been around too long to accept new ideas and new approaches. You can detect this muck up easily when you hear these phrases: “We tried that before and it didn’t work,” or “We lost money on that before,” or “That idea comes up every year.” Mop-up Tip: When you hear nay saying from yourself or others, acknowledge the thought and ask to hear or be heard anyway. Example: “I appreciate your perspective, Joe. But let’s hear the rest of the plan. It might work this time in this economy.”

Meeting muck—don’t let your meetings get bogged down in it! If you’re the leader or facilitator, discuss ground rules like this. Don’t let people downplay ground rules. They’re important and the attendees need them to be productive. Stress the importance of each individual playing along; rules don’t work if one or two think they can get by without following them. When this happens, the whole group catches on and the muck gets worse. If you use your mop-up techniques consistently, your agenda and your climate will stay clean and healthy.