How to Talk to the Boss: Ten Tips for the New Hire

New York gossip columnist M. Barker once wrote, “The idea of strictly minding your own business is strictly rubbish. Who could be so selfish?” Making conversation, especially with the boss, is very UNSELFISH. Look at it as GIVING and GROWING.

However, the typical executive today is busy; he or she has a lot going on every day. You’ll need to take the initiative. For the boss to know you, you need to be able to reach out and ask about and share about.
Reach Out

1. Introduce yourself. Do this more frequently at first, especially if you work for a large department. Imagine you’ve met your boss on the elevator. What would you say? “Mr. Jones, I’m Mike—new in accounting, and I just wanted to say hello.”

2. Start naturally.
Find a topic that is top priority on the boss’s agenda. Or ask a question about a trip the boss was on. Start the conversation as you would with anyone. “How is the ABC project going?” or “ How was the meeting in Georgia?”

3. Connect with common ground.
Let’s face it; the boss is just not that into YOU! She has a lot on her mind. But it’s easy if you establish a simple, practical common ground—years in the job, type of job, location, event, dress, traffic, weather, food—of these are easy ways to establish common ground. You don’t have to try too hard. The simplest starts lead to the best conversations. For example, “How was the parking deck construction today?“ or “I agree that the project teams try to use less email; we get overwhelmed.”

Ask About

4. Listen for style. What is the boss’s communication style? Outgoing? Introverted? Casual? Formal? Try to listen to the words the boss uses and observe how he dresses. By no means should you mimic the boss, but you can always try to adapt accordingly. Watch your slang, like “you guys” or “cool” or “awesome” with a more formal type. For a more casual boss, you can loosen up a bit but remember you are the new kid on the block and always, always need to proceed with caution.

5. Build with questions. Many conversations end when the questions do. Whoever can keep the questions going wins the conversation game—as long as you listen to the answers and build on them. Here’s an example. “You’re from Nevada? My dad was born there. How did you get interested in this line of work in Nevada? Really?” OR “You’ve been here six months? That’s great. Do you have more time to look at options now? I know that first months are tough. Really? How many customers do you handle now?”

Share About

6. Offer your honest perspective. Conversations that are meaningful are true sharing of opinion, expertise, and feeling. Keep yours moving by sharing and disclosing; for example, “I’ve felt that way about creatives since I was twelve. Why do you?” OR “In my experience, that approach usually works, but I do want to tell you one time in a college showcase when it didn’t.”

7. Disagree assertively, not aggressively. “While I like the approach to the website, I think that the colors are wrong for our culture and here’s why.” Getting angry or defensive won’t help. Conversations that are totally in agreement over mundane things don’t last long either.

8. State your ideas often. Take initiative. Then listen; don’t force. Too many new-hires remain quiet as mice for too long. Others talk too much and try to change things before they get a full picture.

9. Share the credit.
Give credit where it is due. The boss will see you as ethical, not ego-filled. If a teammate does most of the work, mention it in a meeting with something else positive that you also had a part in.

10. Thank the boss. Too often employees forget that the manager should be thanked, too. There are many simple things you could be grateful for: an interesting project, a great team, a nice office, a new computer, etc. A quick “thank you” in person or an email or hand-written note goes a long way.

So you have a start: Reach Out: start naturally, connect with common ground, Ask About: build with questions, and Share About: offer honesty. Try doing this in your conversations with managers and coworkers as soon as you start and see just how fun not minding your own business can be!