SURE-FIRE WAYS to FACE your FIVE TOP PUBLIC SPEAKING FEARS

At the end of one of my speaking seminars, a star participant asked, “OK, tell us again how YOU keep from being nervous when YOU speak.” I understood the question; I often wondered the same when I watched professional speakers…oh, and also when it was my kids’ turn to be goalie in AYSO soccer. I still have no idea how our Chicago Blackhawks goalie handles the stress of his job night after night or how his mother can watch.

But, back to the question: I do know speaking. There are definitely things you can do to keep from being a nervous wreck when you have to present to a group. Here are my best tips, which I try very hard to follow every time.

Fear #1 “I don’t have time to do this well!”

Get started right away.

I mean NOW.

The sooner you write something down the less stress you’ll feel. You can go back and change the whole thing later. It doesn’t have to be a formal speaking outline. Just some key bullet points will do. It will become your outline or template later.

Fear #2  “ I’m all alone in this.”

Get someone else involved.

Anyone will do.

It’s best to talk to a trusted coworker or stakeholder, but simply running it by your best friend or significant other is OK too. Conduct a phone interview, text, ask for time for coffee, have an email conversation. My longtime coauthor, Kevin, is often my first point of brainstorming.

Fear #3 “I’m an imposter; I don’t know enough about this!”

Yes, you do.

 

Someone trusts that you know more than most. That’s why you’ve been asked to speak.

Review examples that are unique to you. This is information that nobody else can say quite the same way. Research only the most current references online to add zest. Don’t let the Internet overwhelm you. Get a sense of what’s new and if your presentation aligns or argues that. Either agreement or argument is OK as long as you support it in your unique way.

Fear #4 “I will forget something.”

Most speakers do.

It’s OK to have notes.

Notes are a speaker’s right. Aristotle used notes. Churchill used notes. Obama has a teleprompter. Just don’t write them out word for word (unless you have a teleprompter) or your mind and your mouth will get out of sync.

Fear #5 “ My (shaky hands, red neck, cotton mouth, stutter) will show.”

You feel it more.

Audiences forgive these things.

Know your opening four minutes COLD.

Most of the time signs of discomfort less affect the audience than you may believe. And they are fairly ready to forgive them if your presentation is helpful and practiced. Also these behaviors tend to go away after the first moments. That’s why you should practice your opening over and over.

Good luck with your next presentation! Let me know if these tips work for you as they have for me!  Cyndipublic-speaking

FIVE TIPS for when you’ve got TWO DAYS…

….to plan a STAND-UP PRESENTATION REQUIRED IN A JOB INTERVIEW!

The GOOD news is you’ve landed a GREAT job interview with a stellar firm. The BAD news is you have two days to prepare a 20-30 minute presentation for nine executives of the firm on why YOU are the best candidate for the job. (Note: This is a true scenario faced this week by a former student.) Here are some tips to survive and thrive in this situation!

  1. Have fun putting it together – even in the short time frame. You earned this! Start with a list of ten things you’re great at and edit it down from there. Let the language come easily and say things in your own style. They’ll pick up on the natural you and that’s all you can be anyway.
  2. Have an A+ opening line. What does that mean? (In contrast, a C+ opening would be, “Thank you for your time today. I’m happy to be here. Thank you for the opportunity to be a candidate for this position. I’m going to talk about…” Conversely, an A+ opening “throws out the meat,” – the essence of what you believe; for example, “One of the biggest challenges companies face today is engaging and keeping good employees, and here’s how I will help you do that…”
  3. Tell them you have (you choose) 3-5 points to present. Then immediately start on the first one. Executive audiences are listening for your key arguments so they can dialogue with you later about them. All audiences like to know where you’re headed – briefly!
  4. Have an example of a success story for each point. This is your best opportunity to “tell a story” – granted a business story – but one that adds interest. During your stories, have a fitting visual background on your slide – just a visual! No copy or bullet points, please.
  5. Close with a review (yes, a review because they have not been listening to your every word) and a final smiling, uplifting compliment to the firm’s work and mission and how much you would look forward to being a part.

If you’ve done these five things, you already are better than most! Good luck!public-speaking

Eric’s Uhm’s Challenge: A Sure-Fire Way to Get Rid of a Nagging Habit

As a speaker coach, one of the most common questions I hear is, “How do I get rid of ‘uhm’s’?” And I usually advise,”They are simply filling pauses. Imagine they are swear words you would be embarrassed to mutter.” That may stop you. Then we play a game where each audience member raises a hand every time the offending speaker says “Uhm.” It is so annoying to the speaker that it often works!

However the BEST TIP on GETTING RID OF UHM’S is from one of my speaking students at Columbia College Chicago -  Eric P., a film and video major, who says he practices NOT UHM-ING when he orders in the Subway sandwich line. Try it!  Just try ordering your sandwich and all the ingredients without one non-word. Or, for that matter, try it in any fast food line when you’re ordering a long list of items.

If you try “Eric’s Uhm’s Challenge”,  let me know how it goes! Creatively yours, Cyndi

When the person being introduced is YOU

Good news:  The speaker being introduced is you

By JIM KENDALL

This column originally appeared in the March 10, 2014 Daily Herald and is reproduced with permission. Read it and more great articles at the Business Owners Blog http://kendallcom.com/blog/

 

It’s too late to wonder what you’re doing on the speaker’s side of the microphone:  You’ve been introduced to the audience, which has responded with customarily polite applause.  It’s time to say something.

That’s good news, though, because a speaking engagement – even one you might have suggested to the program chair – is a not-to-be-wasted opportunity to put yourself and your company in front of a gathering of potential customers, referrers and influencers.

The better news is that Cyndi Maxey, a professional speaker, coach and author, and owner of Maxey Creative Inc., Chicago, is willing to share some thoughts on successful speech giving.

Some of Maxey’s thoughts come from a conversation she and I had last month; others are excerpted from a recent book, “Fearless Facilitation,” she co-authored with Kevin E. O’Connor, also a speaker-author-coach.

For Maxey, a successful presentation begins with the audience.  “We don’t think enough about the audience and why they’re there,” she says.  “They’re there because they’re looking to be engaged.  Think about why you’re giving the speech, the unique value you bring.”

Your speechmaking moment may be in a workshop at the annual industry convention; following lunch at the chamber meeting; in front of an MBA class as a guest lecturer at the local college; or as part of a group of business leaders brought together to hear your thoughts on quality control issues.

Your value as a presenter could relate to your business’ reputation for outstanding customer service, your concerns about the future of the industry or your role as a non-profit volunteer.

How many people are in the audience doesn’t matter.  “The people in the room are the right people” because they’ve chosen to come, Maxey says.

Maxey gets to know her audience beforehand.  “Engage early and often,” she and O’Connor write in their book:  Meet and greet before the meeting.  Talk with audience members during breaks.

“I walk into the audience,” Maxey says of her presentation style.  She engages listeners on those forays, too:

* Raise your hand if (you’re tired of winter, for example).

* Do you know the person on your right?  Say hello.

The idea, Maxey says, is to “break through the wall” that almost naturally exists between speaker and audience.  Breaking through “makes the rest of the presentation easier.”

The process works:  Learn about the audience, which is there to hear what you have to say.  Know your topic, which is why you’re the speaker.  Engage.  Go for it.

Other tips, from the Maxey-O’Connor book:

* Don’t read your slides, ever.  In fact, when the room and audience size allow, “become the master of teaching with a flip chart or whiteboard” rather than a power point presentation.

* Never race through your material because you are short of time.  At that stage, no one is listening anyway.

* Never finish late.  You will not be forgiven.

 

Follow Jim Kendall on LinkedIn and Twitter, and at Kendall Communications on Facebook.  Write him at Jim@kendallcom.com.

© 2014 Kendall Communications, Inc.

The Best Wedding Toast I’ve Ever Heard

If you’re standing up in a wedding this month  – here’s another look at THE BEST WEDDING TOAST EVER… Deedee’s toast as maid of honor to her big sister, Maggie, the bride, and Paul, the groom. (Tips on how she did it at the end.)
“I wasn’t ready to give up my big sister Maggie. But I’ve had a year to think about it and I guess I can. When Maggie and I were very little, we shared a big yellow room and slept in the same bed. We had a witch in the closet. Yes, we were sure we had a witch in the closet. But Maggie, my big sister, would hold my hand and say it would be all right and I would fall asleep. (Pause) And so, Paul, (referring to the groom) make sure you hold Maggie’s hand at night and you’ll be able to sleep.

Then we got a little older. Now we had bunk beds—mine was on the bottom and Maggie’s on top. At this time we had a lot of stuffed animals and mine were always all over the floor (Sorry, Mom!) but Maggie’s were always lined up on her bed and she would kiss them all goodnight and call them each by name every night. It would drive me nuts. But finally she would end and all would be quiet – and at just that time I would ask her for a cup of water. Now I was on the bottom bunk, but every night (and I asked every night) Maggie would get me a Dixie cup of water. Why I never thought of doing it myself I’ll never know. (Pause) And so, Paul, if you get thirsty, Maggie will bring you a cup of water.

Then we got a little older. It was middle school and we were competing for things. Maggie always managed to leave the house with some clothing item of mine, and I never noticed until we got to school. (Pause) And so Paul, watch your favorite clothes because Maggie will find a way to wear them.

Then we got a little older. And as you all can see and know, Maggie is beautiful and kind and has a lot of friends. And so in high school she was everything: prom queen, homecoming queen – everything. Then it came time for Turnabout Dance Queen’s Court nominations. And I was nominated to the Freshman Court and Maggie was the Junior Court nominee. When the winner was announced, it was again, Maggie – but at that moment she came over to me and gave me the queen’s sash and said,” You’re the most beautiful one here. You deserve this.” (Pause) And so Paul, Maggie will always give you something if she thinks you deserve it.

Maggie, I thought I was not ready to share you. I missed the sister who held my hand. And then I realized, Paul, that Maggie has two hands.”

Thanks to Deirdre Sweeney for this winning example of how repetition can create the impact for a story. Like Deedee, you too can allow the storyteller in you to
• Fully explore the emotion of the story. A story ties head to heart. Use the natural heart-tug of the story to make your point. Never apologize for the emotion of the story.
• Let the audience experience it with you. Pause. Repeat. Use gesture. Connect with your eyes. Remember your kindergarten class – how you listened to the teacher as she made the pages come to life.
• Repeat a theme throughout the story. The listener likes the repetition.
Where and how can you develop new stories? Look at your life and your recent positive experiences. (Complaining stories are pretty boring.) Then add a bit of this and a bit of that and you’ll start to build a repertoire. Make sure to add details to the story such as “The moon was full” or “I was just sitting there looking forward to a quiet flight” or “She looked over at me with that arched eyebrow of recognition.” Details make the story.

Spring Thaw Inspires Questions

(Check out THE PODIUM, a newsletter published for members of  National Speakers Association – Illinois Chapter www.nsa-il.org where this article first appeared)

After a long, snowy winter, as I walked around our urban neighborhood with Max, my Labrador retriever, I noticed much that had been hidden beneath the snow – specifically: a white shirt, cans, straws, cups, baby toys, tools, bottle caps, and a child’s winter coat! I wondered: Why are people such litterers? Who is missing that small toy? Why would a white shirt be lying in the mud?  How could a small coat not be missed? But now it’s April; the street cleaners have finally done their duty, and the answers to my questions are gone as are the items…forever.

There is a lesson here for speakers; we are people paid for sharing ideas and motivating others to change. It’s easy and natural to become focused on the TALK…on what we want to SAY. And yet, continued success in this business stems from our ability to seize opportunities to ask questions – to uncover what might never be revealed until it’s too late.

As a speaker coach, the standard two questions I ask speakers after they present is “What is one thing you liked about your presentation?” and then, “What is one thing that would make it even better?” They must answer in that order. This is not an unusual technique, but one that leads to truthful discovery and further spot-on work.

But what if we asked these same two questions of all our clients – all the time – about our work, our proposals, our approach, and ourselves? Most important, before we design or fine-tune the program?  Here are some other questions to uncover hidden truths:

• If this is successful: what is the one thing you’d like them to do as a result of this program?

•Who else will be reading this proposal?

•What can you tell me about the audience that I may not initially notice or ask you about?

•What’s one important trait I should convey in my professional manner and appearance during this program?

Recently I interviewed several consultants to help me with a client who needed help in an area I do not cover. They each portrayed themselves professionally, yet each began with a list of their experience and clients first. Had they asked me more about my specific needs  – had they uncovered the intricacies of my situation, I would have been much more equipped to select the right resource for my client.

Author and speaker Marshall Goldsmith leads a great exercise in his seminars where people explain a “weakness” they have as professionals and then ask another for ideas on overcoming it. It’s an exercise filled with energy and wisdom because we all like to give our “two cents” and it’s a perfect example of how others can help us uncover what’s hidden – if we just ask.

This month I addressed a wonderful group of volunteer trainers for an association for Down syndrome on how to be good presenters. I knew they each had a Down syndrome child and that was their motivation to volunteer and share. What I did not realize until I was midway through the program was the intense desire they had to share their “story of acceptance” about parenting such a child. For some the story happened in the delivery room; for others it struck when teenage romance erupted. The energy in the room when “their stories” came forth was noticeable. Had I known this earlier, I would have allotted much more of the program to working on that one story – clearly their main motivator and what their audiences would love.

And so we learn and grow each time we uncover “what’s beneath the snows”  – before the answer is gone forever.

Have a wonderful spring, and as always your feedback is appreciated! Cyndi

How to Capture the Crowd: What Great Preachers Know

“Life doesn’t have MUCH to do with living in the land of CERTAINTY, but it does have MUCH to do with living in the land of HOPE.”

I hastily scribbled these words in my program during a church service out of town.  After the pastor repeated this same phrase three times I noted he was using two great speaking devices: EMPHASIS and REPETITION – the perfect choice for the Easter sermon, which is normally attended by “less than regular” churchgoers.

He continued…

“And the tomb was rolled away. And they said,” (PAUSE) “ SHHHH!” (Finger to lips) “ Let’s not tell anyone,” (PAUSE) and they didn’t.   (KNOCKING ON PULPIT) (SHARP HAND CLAP) “Peter’s out the door,”

He was also a master of SOUND EFFECT, GESTURE, AND PAUSE.

And he knew how to BEGIN.

He had begun with a joke about a retiring pastor whose secretary was valiantly seeking his title for the Easter sermon to type in the program. Finally he turned to her and quipped, “Oh just call it…”Another Easter Sermon.”

And he knew how to END:

“Let me share one more story with ‘ya and then I’m gonna quit.”

And that’s exactly what he did. He made many very good presentation choices for a crowd of “sometimes” churchgoers. He grabbed the large audience that he had and pulled them in.

(In the reception line I discovered he was a semi-retired interim senior pastor named Rev. Eric Erikson with years and years of sermons behind him. I thanked him for his talent and skill that day.)

And here’s what great preachers know and all speakers can learn: no matter the content you must deliver, there are three keys to getting the audience to listen:

1) How you begin and how you end

2) How you use Delivery Basics: eyes, voice, hands, stance, pause, and volume

3) How you repeat, emphasize, and reinforce your key message

As simple as they sound, these are also the most common points of entrapment for speakers:

(1) Do you apologize in the beginning?

Here are some actual openings I’ve heard just in the last month.

“Thank you for being here on this sunny Saturday April morning.” (I’m thinking, OK, don’t make it worse than it is that I have to be here today!)

and…

“Well, since it’s just me between you and dessert I’ll be brief…oh, I see you already have dessert, well I’ll really be brief.” (This comment was made while the speaker, a top-level manager, held a half-empty glass of wine.)

Do you throw away the ending? Here are some actual endings I’ve heard recently:

“So that’s all I have to say.”

“Thanks and I hope you enjoyed it.”

(2) Do you just “show up” without running through the talk out loud?

It’s very different actually delivering a talk and just reading it over at your desk. Practicing out loud while standing up allows you to think about what your eyes, hands, and voice are doing. And that’s what the audience sees.

(3) Do you lose the key message in oodles of detail?

Your listener needs emphasis, repetition, and energy to remember your key message. Write it on a card, highlight it, repeat it in the power point slide, or even have the audience repeat it with you. If you don’t know your message, who will?

Before your next presentation, ask yourself if you’ve given your key message a chance. Thanks to all the great preachers and rabbis out there for reminding us how to do this – week after week after week.

If You Hate Public Speaking…Try Toastmasters!

“Because I hate speaking in public!” That was the response of the young woman I sat next to at my first Toastmaster’s meeting recently when I asked her why she joined.  I had noticed that throughout she dutifully took notes in her booklet, offered to comment on other speakers, and volunteered to speak herself. I had to know what motivated her to give up a Monday evening twice a month.

This year is the 85th anniversary of Toastmasters International, which has built the speaking and leadership skills of thousands with minor dues attached.

Many professional speakers I know started their careers with speeches honed at Toastmasters meetings. I had to see for myself!  I was struck by the protocol, respect, and enthusiasm of the club I visited here in Chicago.

When you visit Toastmasters, the first thing you’ll notice is the solid agenda that keeps the meeting ticking and everyone on equal ground. It is one of the best uses of time management I’ve ever seen. You’ll meet the Toastmaster, the Joke Master, the Word Master, the Evaluator, the Time reporter, the Grammar/Ah reporter and more, among other members and guests.  The night I attended there were about 15 young men and 4 women present; this club was located in a trendy north side Chicago neighborhood.

You’ll have a chance to volunteer to speak impromptu in the “Table Topics” section, which, on the night I attended centered on Halloween – trick or treating experiences and feelings about the event.  I applauded those who rose to the occasion to talk about circus peanuts and embarrassing costumes.

I also heard two 5-7 minute “planned speeches” on leadership and travel; before they spoke, the speakers alerted us if they wanted to be evaluated stringently or less harshly – and then we all wrote feedback comments on small cards and silently passed them to the speakers.

The club’s officers ran the show, making us guests feel welcome and allowing us to observe and experience at our comfort level. In closing, here are three reasons to try Toastmasters and to recommend it to your coworkers and colleagues:

  1. To experience a time-tested tradition in speaking that won’t dent your wallet
  2. To meet new people who share your desire to grow as communicators
  3. To use one hour of your time wisely and purposefully focusing only on YOU!

Here is a link to a website I recommend to my clients and students. In this link, Toastmasters tell their stories.  http://sixminutes.dlugan.com/toastmasters-share-your-story/

As always, your feedback and comments are welcomed!

Conquering the Conference Presentation

Participants in my courses have often said, “It’s hardest to present to peers!” They’re right.  It calls for a strong mindset. And so does presenting at large conferences where the room is set for 200 and may attract 32 who move in and out as they please!

Ah!  Summer – the time for barbecues, sun, sprinklers – and the National Speakers Association National Conference. Every year we professional speakers gather while everyone else is on vacation.  And this year, I presented a 75-minute concurrent session program to my peers.Here are three things I’ve learned to help you conquer the conference presentation:

  1. Go for audience EXPERIENCE.
  2. Think DIALOGUE.
  3. Practice with ANOTHER SET OF EYES.

EXPERIENCE, not content. Avoid the natural tendency to dump your data to impress a large, savvy group. Data is important but can be added in a handout later. Instead, strive to share the experience of YOU – meaning your stories with the data. It’s the difference between saying, “65% of us are introverts,” and “Let me share what happened with a room of quiet, analytical engineers recently.” Think, “I’m sharing my best “stuff” with friends.”

DIALOGUE, not dumping. Someone once told me, “They’re always happier when they’re talking.” While this may seem the antithesis of conference presenting, there are many ways to engage even the largest and most discerning audiences and “let them talk”. Allowing questions at any time is standard. You can also ask them to briefly check in with a seatmate, write something down, or react and apply your content. Getting out among them is the best way to encourage dialogue. That means stepping off the stage for a bit, really listening to their feedback, and tying it into your points.

PRACTICE, not “winging.” This is the time to get another set of eyes on your 75 minutes. Don’t try to do it alone. For the NSA conference, I presented my program to college students and a trusted colleague who is also a professional speaker.  I’m glad I did!  As a result of their input, I cut my note pages in half, added visuals to my power point, clarified instructions for an interactive activity, and customized my opening story. I would not have thought of any of this myself.  Many of their ideas garnered my most successful audience reactions.

So while others may be basking in the sun, heating up the grill, or sipping lemonade this summer, take the time to pamper your conference speech.  When it’s your turn in the big, cold hotel room, you’ll be glad you did!

Your feedback and additional ideas are always welcomed.

Speak Up! How to Toast the Bride

The most impactful wedding toast I’ve ever heard was Deedee’s toast as maid of honor to her big sister, Maggie, the bride, and Paul, the groom. Any woman who wants to speak up and stand out when toasting another can learn from it. As you read, note her use of repetition, personal stories, and audience engagement.

Here’s what she said:
(With hand held microphone, in front of 150 guests)
“I wasn’t ready to give up my big sister Maggie. But I’ve had a year to think about it and I guess I can. When Maggie and I were very little, we shared a big yellow room and slept in the same bed. We had a witch in the closet. Yes, we were sure we had a witch in the closet. But Maggie, my big sister, would hold my hand and say it would be all right and I would fall asleep. (Pause) And so, Paul, (referring to the groom) make sure you hold Maggie’s hand at night and you’ll be able to sleep.

Then we got a little older. Now we had bunk beds—mine was on the bottom and Maggie’s on top. At this time we had a lot of stuffed animals and mine were always all over the floor (Sorry, Mom!) but Maggie’s were always lined up on her bed and she would kiss them all goodnight and call them each by name every night. It would drive me nuts. But finally she would end and all would be quiet – and at just that time I would ask her for a cup of water. Now I was on the bottom bunk, but every night (and I asked every night) Maggie would get me a Dixie cup of water. Why I never thought of doing it myself I’ll never know. (Pause) And so, Paul, if you get thirsty, Maggie will bring you a cup of water.

Then we got a little older. It was middle school and we were competing for things. Maggie always managed to leave the house with some clothing item of mine, and I never noticed until we got to school. (Pause) And so Paul, watch your favorite clothes because Maggie will find a way to wear them.

Then we got a little older. And as you all can see and know, Maggie is beautiful and kind and has a lot of friends. And so in high school she was everything: prom queen, homecoming queen – everything. Then it came time for Turnabout Dance Queen’s Court nominations. And I was nominated to the Freshman Court and Maggie was the Junior Court nominee. When the winner was announced, it was again, Maggie – but at that moment she came over to me and gave me the queen’s sash and said,” You’re the most beautiful one here. You deserve this.” (Pause) And so Paul, Maggie will always give you something if she thinks you deserve it.

Maggie, I thought I was not ready to share you. I missed the sister who held my hand. And then I realized, Paul, that Maggie has two hands.” Continue Reading →