An e-booklet by Cyndi Maxey, CSP
Introduction
- This book is for lovers of life and lovers of summer.
- This book is for people who want to take charge of their own happiness.
- This book is for people who believe in a balance of the heart, the mind, and the soul.
Why this booklet?
Summer has a relaxed feel, no matter the climate. Summer in the Midwest and Eastern United States is a special limited time of hot lazy days and outside activities and gifts. In the South and the West, even though marked by hotter days, it’s still a special, relaxed time of year when school is out and workers vacation. It’s in that spirit … a little more relaxed, a little less focused on the routine of life and work … that the reader can enjoy this booklet.
How to read this booklet:
Pour your favorite beverage and find a spot where you feel very alone, even if people surround you. A place outside is best, but a nice compromising locale could be in front of a fire, an open window, or the gentle air of a heating duct or fan. Do your best to re-create your favorite summer spot—whether that’s a beach chair, a back porch, a patio, or a forest glade. Tell yourself, “This is just for me.”
37 TIPS in NO PARTICULAR ORDER
1. Go to or host a family reunion.
Family roots are unique only to you. When you think of your father, mother, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and so on, you collect a group that nobody else can. And if you have a partner, you have a dual opportunity to connect and explore all these special relationships. It’s great to attend a reunion and even more fun to host one. My memories of the reunions of my Swedish and German farm relatives include incredible tables of homemade foods and lots and lots of folding chairs taken up by farmers who either sat silent or who found details about weather and neighbors to discuss that I never really understood. If you can host a reunion, try to get everyone there, but don’t hesitate to have a partial reunion if you can’t. Smaller groups of relatives can connect more closely; tours of local haunts are easier, and children are often more content with the lavished attention of a few who don’t see them often.
2. Spend time in the sun.
The sun provides vitamins and natural wonderful warmth that just aren’t created anywhere else. Use whatever lotions and deflectors you need to be safe, but enjoy the natural supply of sunshine. It’s totally free and has been shown to inject a better attitude and viewpoint on the day. If you need to get up a little earlier or leave work a little earlier to do so, then take the time to be one with the sun.
3. Read a book in two days.
What a luxury to meet the characters, live in the scene, cry at the crises, and share the inevitable completion of the ending. Books like the popular summer read, The Secret Life of Bees (2003) by Sue Monk Kidd, classics like Jane Eyre, or runaway best-sellers like The Da Vinci Code can keep you glued to the pages, allowing you to escape the rest of your world. Reading a book over weeks and weeks just doesn’t have the same effect. In two days, you have a movie of the book in your head and you’re not totally satisfied until the movie is done.
4. Make cole slaw.
A classic dish of Midwestern pioneer farms made with the simplest ingredients you can imagine, cole slaw says, “It’s August,” just about any time you make it. Mom’s simple recipe: one head of cabbage, one small onion, one green pepper, one cup mayonnaise, one cup sugar, and a dash of salt. Of course the truly classic, relaxing part is making slaw with a hand grater, the way my mother and grandmother did. It’s great for the arm muscles and it’s gratifying to watch the mound grow in the bowl and then cream together for a great compliment to grilled chicken and corn on the cob.
5. Watch charcoal burn.
Even though Americans typically grill on the Fourth of July, you can light a charcoal grill just about any time of the year. Try grilling brats in January! Grilling is a great, easy way to prepare the main dish of a meal. I remember when we had just moved into our first real house; it was autumn and we were so enamored of our first back yard that we grilled a lot—almost daily! (Our inherited stove wasn’t that great, either.)
6. Write an author with feedback about his or her book.
Authors spend days, weeks, and years creating works for the rest of us to read. Whether it’s a documented trade book in your business or a science fiction novel, if you feel strongly about it, let the author know. The emails from people who have read my books cover to cover are among my most cherished and are always saved.
7. Go grocery shopping with an 85 year old.
When you look at a grocery store through the eyes of an octogenarian, you see small patches of colorful items that greet you along the way as you slowly push your cart through the store. It’s a little harder to get a sense of what’s ahead; the choices are challenging, and your eye easily goes to the largest signs and sales. You slow down and think about what the budget allows and what you really need. You assess your cooking skills and you choose selectively. At the checkout, you take several minutes chatting with the clerk because she’s one of the few people you’ll talk with today. Shopping with my father is like this; he helps me understand.
8. Drive through cornfields for three hours.
When I visit my father in central Illinois every summer I drive 7 hours through cornfields, round trip. I turn off the radio and I let my thoughts wander. Every now and then I look at the endless skyline and I thank God for the unsettled land. If you don’t have cornfields to drive through, pick hills or mountains or a swamp—anything topographic that goes on and on and allows your thoughts to explore.
9. Paint rocks.
The ancient Indians did it. You can find evidence of their stories painted on rocks throughout the world. If you can find a smooth rock, you can document your own story—a word, a theme, a symbol. Lake Michigan offers such smooth stones, but so do many small creeks and ponds. Inexpensive paint kits found in dime or dollar stores serve the rock artist well. Rocks become small summer souvenir reminders of your story.
10. Visit a former next-door neighbor or an old friend.
A business trip to Denver, Colorado, allowed me the opportunity to see both my oldest friend (all the way back to church preschool days) and a favorite next-door neighbor whose sons had been my son’s best friends. Both lived in beautiful Colorado homes with atrium skylights, large windows, and airy rooms. My Chicago city self relished in the connection with them—one day and one night with each. Laura shared intimate details regarding her immediate family and Kristine her challenges at work. I wished I had been ten pounds thinner at the time and we all commiserated over the challenges of mid-life. While the presentation I gave for the conference in Denver was rewarding, it didn’t compare to the warmth and connection I felt visiting my friends.
11. Grill a burger, especially if you never have in your life.
Women, if you have left grilling to the men, and non-grilling men, if you’ve left it to someone else, now’s the time to recreate Memorial Day, the Fourth of July and Labor Day all together on December 1st. The ritual of the grill, whether electronic or charcoal, is both relaxing and stimulating. You will not always succeed the first time, but you will learn. A few summer-izing tips: charcoal always takes longer to bring to white coals than you think, and burgers always burn a little bit, and at least one is always a bit too rare in the middle. Grill a burger; it’s something we all can do.
12. Watch hummingbirds.
Hummingbirds are delightful to watch because they’re so small and so transient. Seeing one is always a gift because it’s such a delicate moment in time. They never seem to be still; are they? If you live in an area where hummingbirds are plentiful, I would imagine that their habits might finally become less remarkable. But if you typically are allowed only fleeting glances, you know how wonderful it is to glimpse one or two eating nectar from a feeder or a flower.
13. Buy a puppy.
A puppy has no agenda. Enough said.
14. Talk to dog owners.
You will find that dog owners are among the kindest, most generous people you will know. There is something about loving and caring for a dog that creates a bond that stretches out to others. It doesn’t matter if you own an elegant breed or a mutt, the other dog’s owner will be able to relate to something—the food schedule, how to exercise, play, or social skills. Dog owners are great sources of information. And they give it freely.
15. Rent a cottage for a weekend, a week, or a month.
Living in a small, informal space that is usually simpler than the space you’re accustomed to is a great experience in summer-izing. Cottage living is one-floor, fireplace, bare-wood living. Cottage living is screened porches, even if you have jackets on, and fresh flowers, even if it’s December. Cottage living is few or no electronics, one phone with no voice mail, and board games to replace television. Cottage living is the ultimate summer-izer. You may decide to live in a cottage all year long.
16. Shop for vegetables and fruits at a roadside market.
The roadside market is the epitome of the red, ripe tomato and the sweet, succulent melon. While most are seasonal, you can create the experience with harvest farmer’s markets, specialty groceries or mail order oranges and grapefruits. Fruits and vegetables are growing somewhere year-round. If you’re lucky enough to be able to shop in season, go for color. Try new kinds. There’s nothing like a garden fresh onion, turnip or apricot.
17. List ten things you’re thankful for.
Do it in three minutes or less—that’s one every 18 seconds. It will unveil your true spontaneous thanks. Here are mine for today:
- My active kids
- My patient husband
- My inspiring colleague
- My restless mind
- My belief in God
- My comfortable lifestyle
- My loving father
- My siblings, actual and in-laws
- My steady health
- My creativity
18. List ten things you believe in.
Again, list them in three minutes or less. They will unveil your core. They may change based on your life at the moment. At present, I believe in:
- Forgiveness
- Challenge
- Breathing
- Strong muscles
- Learning new things
- Trees
- Conversation that shares
- Taking initiative
- Persistence
- Just about anything green and growing
- Innocence
19. Play Frisbee with your child or your dog.
This is an easy thing to say, “No,” to because it involves action, movement, and skill. Usually your child will ask you when you are least in the mood—for example, when you’re preparing dinner or just sitting down with a good book. Do it anyway. What fun to try to catch the darned thing and watch your partner’s skill at the sport. If you’re playing with your dog, you can probably play for hours without any boredom on the part of your partner. How summer-izing is that?
20. Write something.
Writing down your thoughts is a very balancing activity. Whether you write a letter, an article, a letter to the editor, or a diary entry, by putting words on paper or screen, you anchor them. At least for that moment in time, you create a document of the map of your mind.
When I was in eighth grade I visited the great city of Chicago for the first time. I was so affected by the experience that I wrote quite a long essay about the trip. Years later, when I found the yellowed paper treatise in my room, I could re-live my excitement as I rode the train, saw the skyscrapers and toured Old Town. Similarly, my parent kept the post cards we wrote from Maui on our honeymoon many years ago. When we discovered them hidden in a scrapbook, the romance of the setting and the whole event is evident in a few sentences. If you write something, keep it. It will mean more later.
21. Follow a map somewhere different.
You don’t have to head out on a vacation trip to do this. Try a new way home some day. For a few years, my husband commuted to an office about 40 minutes away from our home. Constantly experimenting, he learned over six different routes to avoid traffic. You can do this more frequently; you can find different ways to get almost anywhere you need to go regularly.
22. Walk briskly every day.
This is by far the best stress reducer available to anyone who is able. It’s free and easy to schedule. The walk can be done alone, and you can go anywhere you want to go. You can think about anything you want; you can laugh or cry to yourself. And you return with blood flowing better and mind thinking clearer. A walk in the winter can enliven you even more than a summer stroll. If you’re unable to walk, you can get close to the experience by wheeling yourself or asking a friend to accompany you and help.
23. Watch a cardinal pair as long as you can.
There are few people who haven’t seen a bright red male cardinal. To watch the pair, however, is a sweet recognition of a loving partnership. She is plainer, more reticent; he is much more bright and visible. Yet he follows her from branch to branch; he doesn’t lose sight of her.
24. Bake something with fresh fruit.
The simplicity of fresh fruit is your gift as the baker. The smell of baking fruit is your reward. Peaches, plums, apples, pears—all can find their way to your oven and your table with a little flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt!
25. Steam fresh vegetables.
Steaming is the most calorie-free, healthy way to enjoy carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, beans, sprouts, zucchini, and many, many more vegetables that can be enjoyed long after summer is over. Watch the pot closely so you don’t overcook. A slight crispness recreates the fresh summer feel.
26. Play a board game with someone.
A board game promotes conversation and mental acuity. In between moves you can converse. In between moves you can plan your strategy. Board games have been around for centuries. They challenge the strategic abilities of your mind and the creative abilities of your heart. When you play a board game, you’re not only aware of you; you’re aware of the other players and what the whole board tells you. It’s a great way to see how a team is thinking when they’re not thinking as one. It’s a great way to bring a low-tech thought process to a high-tech world.
27. Collect rocks or wild flowers.
These specimens of nature provide the most sought after treasures in nature. No two are alike. They are either readily available or really, really rare. Either way, they provide a natural remedy to spending. They’re the collectibles that are naturally free. And they can grace your table, counter or dresser with the same accent as that of a thousand-dollar creation.
28. Play golf or tennis.
Traditional warm weather sports, golf and tennis get the competitive adrenalin flowing. While I prefer to play them outside on a warm day, both are quite adaptable to either cool weather or indoor competition. After both, you need a cool drink, a seat, and a warm towel.
29. Splurge on the reddest, ripest tomatoes.
Here I suggest you just go for broke. In the middle of winter, get the reddest, ripest tomatoes you can find. Don’t look at the price tag. Just cutting them with a sharp knife and tasting a slice raw will summer-ize your day, no matter the season.
30. Listen to night noises.
A friend who is the new recipient of hearing aids wears them professionally, but especially on the long walks he takes at night with his partner. Though he bought them to be more attuned in his professional life as a very successful consultant and seminar leader, his favorite moments are listening to the crickets, the rustling leaves, even the coyotes of the night. Night noises are natural, real, and always there. Get hearing aids to really hear them.
31. Make something with your hands.
My grandmother, when she wasn’t cooking, was always busy with embroidery. What a wonderful craft—embroidery—one that allows you to converse while you create. Our ancestors were adept at keeping their hands busy. Sometime over history we lost the ability to keep handiwork a part of every day. Carving, cleaning, cooking, collecting, sorting, sewing, painting, writing, sculpting … what handiwork did you once try? What would you like to re-create? “Busy hands lighten a heavy load,” my mother always said.
32. Sweep a floor.
What a perfect, immediate goal—a clean floor free of dust, dirt, and the particles of the day. What a pioneering summer-izing accomplishment! Better yet, sweep the floor with a puppy in the room. You’ll delight at his antics as he plays with the broom—batting at it and biting it—the enemy or the friend?
33. Put a message on your voicemail that says you’re out of town and will return calls when you return.
Set up the expectation that you deserve your time off. Even the most important client can wait a week or two.
34. Stargaze.
Even on a winter’s night, gazing at stars recreates a summer’s eve. This is best done with someone who (a) can be silent with you and filled with awe or (b) is a real astrological expert who knows all the constellations by heart and makes it really educational.
35. Find a place where you can watch and hear water flowing.
An aquarium, a zoo, an atrium, a waterfall, a botanic garden—all these places recreate the sound and smell of moving water. Water in the summer seems more plentiful even though the temperature is hot and we are thirstier. We seem to find it and play in it all the time at the beaches, ponds, lakes, and streams.
36. Go to bed with the dark.
The summer noises at night that end the longer days stimulate going to bed earlier and falling into a relaxing sleep. Then fall arrives, the time changes, and you find yourself coming home from work in the dark rather than going to bed. One night when you’re especially fatigued, be a little crazy and lazy. Have some warm milk, crawl into bed at 5:00 PM and read or meditate until you fall asleep.
37. Fall in love.
This tip can only be a suggestion, because true falling in love grabs you at the oddest moment when you least expect it. You can fall in love anew with your partner of many years. You can fall in love with your kids again, your pets, your neighborhood, your back yard, your home, or your career. And of course, you can fall in love with someone for the first time. Are you in love? Here’s a big hint: you’re in love if you can’t stop thinking about the person. The musical “Grease” is a summer musical about summer love. Will it last? Who knows? Love is a wonderful irreplaceable emotion that should be experienced fully by everyone—no matter your age and no matter how long.
Bonus Tip! Have an end-of-day drink at 5 PM.
This drink does not have to be alcoholic; the important thing is to celebrate the end of your workday and begin your evening descent to sleep. Warm tea, a virgin pina colada, a glass of wine … all of these celebrate that you’re taking a moment for you. My Aunt Sylvie, who lived to be 99, toasted each evening at 5 o’clock with a small martini—a “mart” as she called it—always complete with an olive or two. If she was alone, she watched the news, and if you happened to be with her, sharing in the “mart,” of course, what followed was the best discussion on political and current events that you can imagine. In your absence, she would continue to end her day with the evening news—fodder for the next evening’s martini discussion.
Good luck!
