Articles

Last weekend we held an Estate sale that emptied my childhood home of all its worldly goods.  As I watched strangers sort among the unwanted items Dad (and we) had left behind, notably –

-Incomplete sets of drinking glasses

-A mustache-cup  

-An old blender

-An older waffle iron

-Too many short-sleeved shirts – out of style long ago

-Faded sheets and towels – kept too long

-A glass punch bowl, cups and dipper – barely used ever…

…I hoped we made the right decision – what to keep and what to sell. It made me think. What are life’s salvageables? What are the things we take with us, no matter what? I thought of ours – the ones my family carefully packed far from the crowd:

–       Dad’s 1930’s high school yearbooks – all four

–       Three of Grandpa’s pocket watches – all broken

–       Too many of Grandma’s doilies  – hand crocheted

–       An ancient yard croquet set  – from summer in the ‘60’s

–       Mom’s little kitchen table – the leaves folded down

These were the things of memories. And so to you and me and all of us – as we face life’s stresses today – may we remember that today we have a chance to create the most important of life’s salvageables – lasting memories…for tomorrow.

What would yours be?

Now’s the Time To Speak Up: How to Talk to the Boss

New York gossip columnist Myrtle Barker once wrote, “The idea of strictly minding our own business is moldy rubbish. Who could be so selfish?” In this economy, bosses need all the help they can get. It’s the perfect time to speak up at work. You don’t have to be a new hire to let the boss know you’re around and you’ve got good ideas. Here are some suggestions. What works for you?

1. Introduce yourself. Imagine you’ve met your boss on the elevator. What would you say? “ Hi Joan, I’m Mike in accounting; how’s your day going?”

2. Start naturally. Let’s face it; the boss has a lot on her mind. But you can connect with easy topics like current work, the event, traffic, weather, or food; find a topic that you know is on the boss’s agenda. “ How is the Butler Project going?” “ How was the meeting in Georgia?” “How was the parking deck construction today?“ “I agree with your last email about vacation time ” – all of these are good connectors.

3. Listen for style. What is the boss’s communication style? Outgoing? Introverted? Casual? Formal? Try to listen to the words the boss uses and observe how he or she dresses and acts. Then adapt your tone and language to their style.

4. Offer your honest perspective. Keep your conversation moving by sharing and disclosing; for example, “I’ve felt that way about email for some time. Why do you?” OR “In my experience, that approach works, and if you’ve got a moment, I’ve got a great example.”

5. Disagree assertively, not aggressively, when you disagree. For example, “While I like the approach to the website, I think other colors would better represent our culture and here’s why.” is better than, “I don’t like our website at all.”

6. State your ideas often. Take initiative. Then listen; don’t force. Too many employees remain quiet as mice for too long. Others talk too much before they get a full picture.

7. Share the credit. Give credit where it is due. The boss will see you as ethical, not ego-filled. If a teammate does most of the work, mention it and add something else positive that you also had a part in.

8. Thank the boss. There are many simple things you could be grateful for: an interesting project, a great team, a nice office, a new computer, etc. A quick “thank you” in person or an email or hand written note goes a long way. Just don’t overdo it.

©2009 Cyndi Maxey

My first experience snowshoeing was two years ago with a wonderful group of athletic, middle-aged and older women in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. After a day with them, their wisdom and life views impressed me so that I wrote a poem. Now two years later, with the introduction of our new book for women, Speak Up!, it seems a fitting time to brush off the “Snow Women” again. Please enjoy their advice and send yours.

( Dedicated to the Women’s Book Group of Steamboat Springs,
Colorado – February 2007)

Snowshoes make a track that is steady and firm in the deep snow.
The mountain accepts the tracks as it was built to do.
And so the tracks bear the weight of women – snow women.

And the shoes bear the weight of the wisdom of the women who wear them.

Live for today because you never know what tomorrow brings.

Each step is sure but the path is not. The mountain knows no trail
here. As is the mountain, so life is improvised.

Simplify.
Throw things away. Don’t make a big project out of
everything. Simplify.

Step simply. The mountain shows how. Sagebrush and snow is all it
offers today.

Change is constant. Be healthy. You will care for the young and
the old.

And step and step again. The wise women bear the care of others.
There are babies and the young and the dying. The women breathe
in and out and step on.

Do things. Don’t save money. Experiences are more meaningful
than things.

Connect the steps. The line in the snow breaks apart. Groups of
women talk and laugh. The air is not still now – doctors, educators,
writers, athletes, mothers, daughters, poets, artists – make one line in
the snow.

Do it now while you can. Physically you will age. Do it now.

Step in rhythm. Again and again. Some lead. Some follow. Many are
in the middle. Step. Step. Step. Step.

Accept your limitations and be OK with them.

Step with caution. The leaders look back to see. Some sticks rise up
in the snow. Women guard women. There are the holes, the pitfalls to
be cautioned. Watch out for each other.

You have to close one door before the other door opens.

Step sure into the snow. Why look back? The snow is clean and
unmarked ahead.

Don’t spend time with those you don’t want to. Get toxic people
out of your life.

Step with friends. The mountain accepts friends who share its beauty.
The magpie flies over friends – a free and happy partner in the air.

Enjoy each day to the fullest and don’t put things off.

Step anyway. The snow is wet and not so deep this year. The
mountain offers it today. The women walk today.

Take time to understand the new generation.

Step with vigor. The women are young…in spirit…at heart…and will
listen to the young around them.

Manage your time. Nobody said you have to work twelve hours a
day.

Step in time. Take your time, the mountain says. It is large and
unending. The women choose how far to walk and when to stop and
when to turn around.

Use it or lose it.

Step now. The women take the time today to walk. They leave the
busy life in town or work or home where others call and claim. They
breathe in and out. The air is fresh and cold and clean.

Take time out for yourself every single day or you’ll feel sorry
for yourself.

Step in the moment. Step and think. Step and talk. Step and thank.
The women take the time this day together.

Live on a lot less.

Step simply. The mountain asks for little. A full life asks for little.

Snowshoes make a track that is steady and firm in the deep snow.
The women return to the mountain home. The tracks will disappear
with the next snow. The wisdom of the women lives on.

Cyndi Maxey
Chicago, IL
February 18, 2007

Endorsed by Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan: “Speak Up! is packed with savvy advice – any woman who wants to succeed in her career should read it!”

In SPEAK UP!, you’ll learn how to –

• Deal with difficult colleagues
• Speak on the spot
• Use technology in support of your message
• Sell your ideas with passion and power
• Connect confidently with your superiors

238 pages

Price includes tax and shipping

NEW! October 2008

Present Like a Pro: More Tips and Techniques from the Road – a CD Companion to the Book.  Even MORE practical tips on how to present like a pro! This companion CD to the book Present Like a Pro, written and recorded by the authors Cyndi Maxey and Kevin E. O’Connor adds material not found in the book and includes personal stories with techniques the authors use to handle tough speaking scenarios. Provides over 53 minutes of clever conversation and ideas that will boost your ability to:

• solicit useful feedback
• deal with hecklers
• gracefully handle A-V malfunctions
• sell your point through audience participation
• and evoke the power of your own life and work.

Price includes tax and shipping

Endorsed by Publishers Weekly … “Targeting managers, salespeople, professional speakers and even best men preparing wedding toasts, communications and leadership consultants, Maxey and O’Connor provide useful advice and moral support to anyone who is about to speak up. Through judicious peppering of personal stories, they demystify the near-universal fear of speaking in public, while offering potential speakers at all skill levels encouragement and practical advice.”

274 pages

Price includes tax and shipping

Endorsed by the best-selling author of How to Work a Room, Susan Roane: It’s Your Move is filled with practical how-to’s to get you moving (yes, mingling, too) and achieving your goals. Play the 52 tip-filled cards suggested by Cyndi and Jill, and then share your success!”

Reviewed by Amy Lindgren, Minneapolis Star: Maxey and Bremer have structured motivational lessons about goal-setting around a fantasy card game. Each “hand,” consisting of two or more cards, focuses on a self-improvement topic such as learning, attitude and listening. The cards themselves are action steps to take in completing each chapter!

256 pages

Price includes tax and shipping

Lyerly, Barry and Cyndi Maxey, Training from the Heart: Developing Your Natural Training Abilities to Inspire the Learner and Drive Performance on the Job, ASTD, 2000.

“Best Seller…ASTD Publications 2001-2002”

This book shows its readers how to find their “training heart,” and then use this discovery to create a better climate for learning in which learners actually apply the lessons from the classroom to the job.

161 pages

Price includes tax and shipping

The most impactful wedding toast I’ve ever heard was Deedee’s toast as maid of honor to her big sister, Maggie, the bride, and Paul, the groom. Any woman who wants to speak up and stand out when toasting another can learn from it. As you read, note her use of repetition, personal stories, and audience engagement.

Here’s what she said:
(With hand held microphone, in front of 150 guests)
“I wasn’t ready to give up my big sister Maggie. But I’ve had a year to think about it and I guess I can. When Maggie and I were very little, we shared a big yellow room and slept in the same bed. We had a witch in the closet. Yes, we were sure we had a witch in the closet. But Maggie, my big sister, would hold my hand and say it would be all right and I would fall asleep. (Pause) And so, Paul, (referring to the groom) make sure you hold Maggie’s hand at night and you’ll be able to sleep.

Then we got a little older. Now we had bunk beds—mine was on the bottom and Maggie’s on top. At this time we had a lot of stuffed animals and mine were always all over the floor (Sorry, Mom!) but Maggie’s were always lined up on her bed and she would kiss them all goodnight and call them each by name every night. It would drive me nuts. But finally she would end and all would be quiet – and at just that time I would ask her for a cup of water. Now I was on the bottom bunk, but every night (and I asked every night) Maggie would get me a Dixie cup of water. Why I never thought of doing it myself I’ll never know. (Pause) And so, Paul, if you get thirsty, Maggie will bring you a cup of water.

Maggie, I thought I was not ready to share you. I missed the sister who held my hand. And then I realized, Paul, that Maggie has two hands.” Continue Reading →